Love the Process

Not even a year and a month ago when I started pole I told myself something I am grateful and proud of all of the time:
"I am in for a very difficult, challenging, frustrating, rewarding, beautiful journey."
I knew even before I could do a spin on the pole that I was in for a lot of work and a lot of struggle and a lot of joy.

I go through phases like I'm sure many pole dancers do where I either get a ton of tricks at one time, I feel like I can get no tricks at all and I have probably peaked or at least have a lot of work ahead of me, or I am getting some tricks but not all of them.

I went through a minute in December where I realized that I had accomplished so many strength moves and tricks that now it was time to learn the really scary and hard stuff...

The fonji and reverse fonji, the back flip, the aerial cartwheel, the kamikaze, etc.

I was willing to learn all of it, but since they are all so much more intimidating I couldn't get them like I had been getting other moves in the past.
I wasn't getting them right away and I felt like I hadn't been able to achieve any new moves that I had been working on for a long time.
I started to feel frustrated, as I have in the past in various other periods,
but I always remember what I told myself.

I accepted what was ahead of me and when I realize that it's part of the process, I learn to love what I hate.
I learn to understand that each thing that is more difficult to learn is all that much more special when I can do it.
I have a million tricks that I want to work on right now and all of them are going to take more time that I would like to get them, but I am accepting of this fact and believe that I can get all of them someday.

It's easy to get upset and want to bail and want to dip out of training all of the time.
Sometimes it's okay when you are frustrated to step away for a little while until you can come back. I have realized that when I am frustrated after doing an hour of training and feel tired I really need to just get some food in me and breathe for a few before I return.

 I just want to remind all of my polers that we all go through shitty stagnant and unhappy experiences in pole, but if you keep at it you will get a move and suddenly that feeling disappears. And in the mean time - be proud of what you have already achieved.

Also if you feel like you aren't doing that great, I recommend just free styling - finding yourself through losing yourself and being proud of dancing to a whole song that no one could ever dance like you to.
The fact that you pole at all is incredible and requires a great deal of strength and passion.
Be proud of all of the little things you forget about, because if you pole, you probably kick ass ;) 

Pole Anniversary!

Today is my very first pole anniversary!

One year ago today I walked into the doors of Boulder Spirals in Boulder Colorado into a room with 4 girls wearing booty shorts and sports bras, climbing 14 foot poles.
I was nervous and enthralled all at once.

I took an intro to pole class with my friend, and the amazing and beautiful platinum blonde Colfax  Chrissy taught us our very first class. She was wearing blue brazil shorts and clear 7 inch high heels.

I was instantly hooked and knew that I had to come again.

Two weeks later I bought my very own pole and set it up in my house.

I remember asking my sister to take photos of me whenever I started feeling more confident and she soon got tired of how often I wanted to capture new moves because I just kept learning them everyday.

Since the day I went to Boulder Spirals I have looked up pole tutorial videos, studied pole stars, watched competitions and performances, and have devoted my entire life and energy into pole.
What I eat, who I hang out with, what I do with my time, why I work out, and what I have dreams for all surround pole.

Never in my life would I have imagined having such a powerful thing to come out of no where and change everyday of my life forever.
I am so grateful that I came to Boulder because I know that I otherwise wouldn't have probably heard about pole for another 15 years.
I couldn't imagine anything else coming into my life that could be better or make me happier and healthier.

This pole world has the best people I've ever met.
It's a community of mostly women who are supportive, and loving, and caring.
I feel more confident, strong, healthy, and happier than I ever have in my life.

I am so excited to continue to grow, to meet more people, to discover, and to bring more people into the amazing lifestyle.

These are some of the first photos on the pole I ever took:

2014 Pole Goals!

Here are my goals for 2014!
Please tell me yours too! <3

-Compete
-Dead Lift 100% of the time I attempt to
-Shoulder Mount jump (from decently far)
-Kamikaze
-Brass money press up 100% of the time I attempt
-Split overs
-Middle splits
-Aerial cartwheel without touching foot to pole when upside down
-Aerial twist/spin/swing to invert
-Phoenix
-Anastasia swing > to twist > to sit drop
-Sarah Scott's Invisible Wall
-Non-stop pike dead-lift headstands 100% of the time
-Reverse Fonji
-Birds of Paradise
-Go to Pole Expo in Vegas
-Go to Gravity First in Mexico
-More free-styling
-Dead lift hand stands
-Shoulder mount round the worlds (whole way - I get about 75% of the way and bail)
-Get stronger, get my six pack ;) 

Here it is!! it's subject to change but I have a lot of training head of me that I'm super stoked about!

What Pole Can Do for You and Misconceptions People Have About Starting Pole Dancing

Today on Instagram a beautiful girl told me that she wanted to do pole but she said:
-She has never danced before
-She has little upper body/core strength

These are two common ones. And here are more that I hear:

- "I am not coordinated"
- "I don't feel sexy"
- "I'm not comfortable being sexy or dancing"
- "I'm not strong/I can't even do a pull up"
- "I'm not flexible"
- "I'm too fat/overweight"

etc. etc. there are many different ones.

What non-polers should know is that
1) Most people have at least some (if not all) of these thoughts before they try pole
2) You do not need to be a dancer, or strong, or flexible, etc, before you try pole, POLE GIVES YOU THESE THINGS (if you want them ;) )

I was not strong when I started. I was not flexible. I never danced. I never expressed sexy movements in public. I couldn't do pull-ups my whole life.

Pole does not expect things from you. Pole is there to help you get what it is that you want. And, pole is a tool you that allows you to express who you are.

I am not a dancer. I never have been.
I was a gymnast from ages 5-12, and after that I played every generic sport and eventually stopped those to follow music (which I gave up on quickly).
Before I started pole I had spent over 5 years doing no physical activities and I never worked out besides the occasional run.

I am okay with not being a "polerina" or even a good dancer.
I can dance, and I will. I find it can be fun and I enjoy occasionally dancing in heels and putting a sexy choreography together.
But all in all this is not my true style.
My style is my personality and it's what my strengths are (what I feel are my strengths are).
In my case I like strength, and what I see as cool tricks, and intensity.
(Intensity is subjective. A simple stare can be intense. It just fit with the moment of that sentence.)
I of course want to, and can work on and improve upon, my dancer skills and be better at them.
But in general I like my style and I'm happy with it.

My point being - you don't HAVE to be ANYTHING when it comes to pole.
Pole allows you to be who you are.
It opens you up by building your confidence and providing a framework through which you can test out various styles until you find your own.

I know famous polers who are not flexible and never care to be.
I know pole dancers that only will ever wear high high heels and/or only do spin pole.
I know experienced polers who just won't even attempt certain tricks because they don't want to.
These polers have found what it is they want from pole and they don't need to be anything other than what they want.

Since I started pole I am stronger, more confident, more flexible, and still progressing on every realm because pole is motivating me - it's a tool helping me get to these goals and it's allowing me to learn things I wouldn't have otherwise known.

The general statement is:
Try pole.
It will give you a means to express who you are, and show you things about yourself that you wouldn't otherwise discover.
You don't have to be strong, or athletic, or flexible, or confident or whatever.
I urge everyone to give it a chance because I know the magic it has had on me and so many other people.
We have a supportive, loving, caring and fun community of beautiful women (and some men) that want to help you succeed and find yourself.

Also, I'm always here for advice, help, questions, whatever :)
If this made you want to pole, please tell me (I love to hear it).
And please share this with your friends - I want to continue to break down the misconceptions that people have that keep them from trying it out because it really is magic hidden in plain sight that you can't understand until you experience it for yourself.

If you are still nervous to try it - bring a friend and don't come with expectations, just enjoy the fact that you are experiencing something new :)


<3

Why Pole "Fail" Videos are as Important as the Successess

The other day the lovely Heidi Coker
( Heidi's FaceBook Fan Page)
posted a pole video of nothing but repeated unsuccessful attempts of trying to get into a move.

Here is a link to the video:

Heidi Coker's "Crash and Burn" Video

I believe that as we see photos and videos of the beautiful talented people in our pole community, it is far too easy to see them as superior beings and to feel like we are not on "their level."

I get such inspiration from Sarah Scott's strength videos and Anastasia's performances, but what really gives me joy, (and it sounds wrong without context), are the fail videos.

I say "fail" loosely.
Pole in one sense is probably at least 50% fails.
We need strength and loads of training and repetition in order to become the polers we are.
It's a lot of fucking hard work and pain, and there are more unsuccessful moments than we would like to remember or experience. (Hence the title "Sweat, Blood, and Hot Pants.")
But speaking generally, the videos, especially of championship winners and famous polers where they are working hard to get moves, where you can see them struggling, these are as necessary for the pole community as well as inspirational award-winning performance videos.

These videos show us that our idols still have to work hard and struggle.
We may know this in our heads, but seeing it is a whole other experience
We can have visual evidence that they don't always succeed, just like the rest of us (those of us who aspire to be like them).

Dirdy Birdy's Fonji "Some Successes and Some Fails" video is what gave me the true inspiration to get my Fonji - I didn't have to get it the first time - or the first handful. If she can't do it right away, that means it will be difficult for me as well. If I didn't see this, I would have been more frustrated than I was when I tried because it seems like it should be something everyone can do.
We can become disillusioned in our world that things are easier than they really are because how graceful and painless our lovely stars and idols make them look.
Not to mention that the painful moves are more easy to get - I think - than say the ones like Birds of Paradise that require some intensive flexibility which means we need a whole other discipline to be working on at the same time rather than getting into the move/pose alone.

Thank you Heidi (and Dirdy Birdy) for sharing this video of multiple falls - not every poler wants to share their unsuccessful or un-perfect videos for reasons I completely understand as well,
but I will remember these videos on my continued pole journey of frustration and unsuccessful attempts in the future. 
<3

Bigger is Better?

Has anyone else noticed that almost all of the pictures for
advertising,
magazines,
websites,
blogs,
competitions,
etc are of all of the
1) most flexible moves or
2) the hardest or
3) both?

And I swear this has just become more and more real over the last year...

Sometimes when I see a photo of someone just someone standing next to a pole I feel like I can breathe.
I don't literally feel like when I see someone standing next to a pole for a photo "well I can do that, I'm comfortable."
But when I see some crazy ass move on a book, or a magazine, or a website, I almost feel like "in order to be good I need to be able to do this right.now." (Maybe this is just me and I am giving you some insight into how I get moves so quickly - I get this anxiety about how I have so much to learn and do in pole and I feel I need to know it as soon as possible, and this motivates me to train really hard.)

Don't get me wrong. If you know me you know I love the crazy ass, difficult, flexy pole moves and I want to be able to do every.single.one.
Well - except for the freaking knee hold. I never want to try that shit again.

I also understand polers doing workshops and advertising themselves they need to express without words that they are experienced.
I am not at all bashing difficult pole trick photos, I have tons and tons and I love them when I see them as well.

I know a lot of people really hate the idea of pole being in the Olympics (and that is a whole 'nother... 10 blogs worth of writing and thoughts there) and I'm not giving my opinion about pole in the Olympics right now,
but one person in particular has told me that pole in the Olympics means that pole will only really mean that the people who are relevant are those who are young, strong, and flexible.
I kind of feel like in a lot of ways we are already moving towards that style now.
Perhaphs since it's more my style than dancing in heels is I surround myself with photos and videos of this type of poling, (My photos are increasingly of difficult tricks. Not me standing next to a pole. Maybe I am a part of this trend...)
but I also feel like simplicity in pole - actually dancing or just moving around the pole on the ground or simple photos is increasingly less revered as doing a move like the Anastasia (even though this requires stupid flexibility so I get the merit).

I just hope all forms and styles of pole continue to be celebrated.

Small thought -
and that is all for today <3 :)

My First Pole Crash: Color Me Humbled.

So during a photoshoot yesterday I fell for the very first time in my pole career.
It was a pretty traumatic moment.
My mind started playing out my biggest fear - that I may not be able to pole again.
I am humbled by my experience because ...

As a poler I get injured - a lot.

I legitimately always have at least 3 injury-type things going on at any point in time.

None of them are "major" in the sense that I am literally going to ruin myself forever for being on the pole when I have these injuries. I don't pole when I feel something is serious or going to last a long period of time, or even cause me future pain.
But I have "injuries," like my ribs come out of alignment because my muscles are strained, and sometimes I have random pains in various parts of my body.

As polers, with the amount of abuse we put our bodies through, we tend to block out painful events and just try and wait out injuries.
None of these issues besides my ribs are ever reoccurring which I am grateful for.
I have been grateful and lucky because I have had injuries that are not severe or going to cause me chronic pain (which is not something every poler can say).

When my back started hurting and my ribs were bugging me this summer I stayed away for a little while but I kept coming back.
When I almost pulled my shoulder in December, I was off pole. For serious. For the first time.
I didn't do a single pole trick until I was healed.
That experience alone made me feel blessed for my luck and I had to realize that I need to actually step back to heal myself sometimes. That this can actually happen to me.
As a very passionate poler with big dreams, I train a lot.
As much as I can really.
Because of this I need a lot of body work and I don't always give myself the rest that I need to.
I however, have not had anything more serious than a shoulder injury that kept me away from the pole for 3 and a half weeks.

Being away from pole depresses me at any point in time when I am injured, and I have thought about the possibility of being so injured I will never be able to pole again.
This scares me more than almost anything.


When I fell on my shoulder and knocked the bone out of place yesterday (I still cringe every time I think of it)
I have a freak-out moment every single time.
This fall has made me realize something else other than: yes, I can be injured, and yes to the point where I need to stay away from poling for an extended, painful, length of time.
This struck something deeper.


Lately I have been feeling like I have been getting tricks right and left, and this streak has made me so happy because I was frustrated for a minute in December feeling like I wasn't really getting any moves.
But my crash made me realize that I need to stop flying and rather breathe through my experiences.
I am so eager to learn and to bust out tricks and get strong and improve and advance and perform.
I know that my biggest flaw as a poler is the inability to slow things down.
Slow moves down. Slow the process down. Slow my transitions down. You name it.
My teachers always tell me to, and I actively have to think about it in order to act upon it, and it's still the biggest struggle I have.

When I came out of my position the other day I wasn't thinking about the situation, my position, my body, and I fell - hard.
I have inverted a million times and there comes a point when you have done the same pole move so many times that you no longer even think about what you are doing or how you need to get out of it. You don't think you need to because it's just second nature by that time.
I learned that this is the wrong way of thinking the hard way.
I will never dominate pole - it will always be dangerous and deserve constant respect.

I always remind myself that my body is a temple.
I love my body. Flaws and all.
I eat well, I sleep often, I try and be good to myself.
However, I love pole so much that I often forget to take care of myself and I put pole first.
I don't take the time to remember that this is the one and only body I will have forever.

My drop reminded me that pole is a very scary and very dangerous sport.
I would say that non polers don't really understand, but I clearly forget and don't always understand as well.
The best polers in the world fall and get injured all of the time.
We hold ourselves up with the smallest amount of skin possible on a fast-spinning vertical bar in high heels 10 + feet up in the air.
This is very blatantly something that deserves extreme respect and attention and it's so easy to forget.

My point is that this experience has humbled me.
I am reminded that I am human.
I break very easily.
Pole is a very dangerous sport that deserves respect and that it is too easy to forget this.
I always tell myself I need to go slower, but now the universe has screamed at me, telling me that I can't keep brushing this need off like I have been for so long.

Always know where your points of contact are, and always know how you are going to get out of a move the safest way possible.

As a teacher I am almost overly protective of my students and making sure they are safe - but this is a practice I need to place on myself as well.

Crashes happen and injuries are pretty much inevitable in this lifestyle.
I hope that my experiences of injury are nothing any of you beautiful other polers ever have to experience.

My goals for this year are to take things more slowly, and allow myself to heal when I have injury because of everything I have explained above.

What we can do with our bodies is empowering and incredible, but we will never be able to defy gravity like we sometimes believe. 

<3 <3 <3